It was during a serene moment that I was sitting on the couch in my living room. Alone in prayer, I was thinking of all the hard times God had stayed with me. I couldn't help but gaze at the corner curio cabinet next to the couch. A small stuffed bear and heart shaped box sit on the middle shelf. The bear's arm perched on the box, as if to somehow protect it. Inside that decorated box were the bracelets that Nathan and I wore when he silently entered the world. His tape measurer, footprints, and letters from his big brother and big sister are nestled on top of his blanket.
My thoughts were of that morning I entered the hospital with our youngest son's lifeless body within my womb. Delivering his sweet tiny body, holding his tiny hands and stroking his tiny feet were the hardest things I had to do thus far. But, I did it. I was wheeled out of that hospital, as a changed woman. God must have thought that I could handle it, so through the tears, I trusted him.
Twenty three months later, I would roll out of the same hospital after delivering our healthy baby girl, only to have to leave her in the morgue. She passed away a short thirty eight minutes after her birth. Talk about a test of faith.
I never doubted God loved me, I only doubted I could make it through those tough months and years. As I looked at the opposite side of the room, on the credenza, a statue of a little girl clutching a balloon serves to remind me that our little girl, Haylee, is in heaven playing with all the balloons the angels could fly.
The stuffed animal, the decorated box, the statue all bring to mind that although I could have lost my hope, I didn't. Although I could have chosen to lose my joy, I didn't. Although I could have lost all faith, I didn't. More importantly, I never lost my praise. I never stopped raising my voice to the one that gives and taketh away.
I never lost my ability to be the daughter of my heavenly father. Whatever tragedy I faced, I never lost my love for him, my gratitude for his sacrifice on the cross, my desire to serve him. I never, not once lost my praise.
I would like to pose the question.....have you found that peace in Christ? Have you lost your praise?
Perhaps you are searching for the answers to your loss. I don't have those answers, but I know the one person who does. If I never know the reasons for my losses, I know that whatever God chose for me is the purpose in my life.
Through all of your trials, in your darkest and deepest moments of despair, when you feel no one understands you...look up and never lose your praise! I encourage you to listen to this song!!
My thoughts were of that morning I entered the hospital with our youngest son's lifeless body within my womb. Delivering his sweet tiny body, holding his tiny hands and stroking his tiny feet were the hardest things I had to do thus far. But, I did it. I was wheeled out of that hospital, as a changed woman. God must have thought that I could handle it, so through the tears, I trusted him.
Twenty three months later, I would roll out of the same hospital after delivering our healthy baby girl, only to have to leave her in the morgue. She passed away a short thirty eight minutes after her birth. Talk about a test of faith.
I never doubted God loved me, I only doubted I could make it through those tough months and years. As I looked at the opposite side of the room, on the credenza, a statue of a little girl clutching a balloon serves to remind me that our little girl, Haylee, is in heaven playing with all the balloons the angels could fly.
The stuffed animal, the decorated box, the statue all bring to mind that although I could have lost my hope, I didn't. Although I could have chosen to lose my joy, I didn't. Although I could have lost all faith, I didn't. More importantly, I never lost my praise. I never stopped raising my voice to the one that gives and taketh away.
I never lost my ability to be the daughter of my heavenly father. Whatever tragedy I faced, I never lost my love for him, my gratitude for his sacrifice on the cross, my desire to serve him. I never, not once lost my praise.
I would like to pose the question.....have you found that peace in Christ? Have you lost your praise?
Perhaps you are searching for the answers to your loss. I don't have those answers, but I know the one person who does. If I never know the reasons for my losses, I know that whatever God chose for me is the purpose in my life.
Through all of your trials, in your darkest and deepest moments of despair, when you feel no one understands you...look up and never lose your praise! I encourage you to listen to this song!!