When I was younger, I dreaded school clothes shopping. My mom had me look through the Sear's catalog and choose the clothing I wanted. Although she did order some of the styles I loved, I never received the jeans I had circled. Nope, I wore Toughskins. Okay, so maybe that doesn't sound like a felony was committed, but to me it was torture to wear them to class.
For one, the fabric was so heavy and starched, you could hear me walking down the hall a mile away! They were brutal on the knees and no matter how many times you washed them, the dye always made the jeans smell like...well, spoiled milk. The main reason I detested them was because they were not the "name brand" clothing I wanted.
All of my friends wore "Calvins" or "Jordache" or the must have "Guess" jeans. I was walking the halls in my Toughskins! Now, I understand with four children to outfit for school, times were tough. I know that the cost of one pair of the designer jeans I desired were probably the equivalent to my parent's entire budget, but to me, it was status.
Having another name plastered to my backside somehow made me feel important.
For one, the fabric was so heavy and starched, you could hear me walking down the hall a mile away! They were brutal on the knees and no matter how many times you washed them, the dye always made the jeans smell like...well, spoiled milk. The main reason I detested them was because they were not the "name brand" clothing I wanted.
All of my friends wore "Calvins" or "Jordache" or the must have "Guess" jeans. I was walking the halls in my Toughskins! Now, I understand with four children to outfit for school, times were tough. I know that the cost of one pair of the designer jeans I desired were probably the equivalent to my parent's entire budget, but to me, it was status.
Having another name plastered to my backside somehow made me feel important.
When I had children of my own, I realized just how pricey things could get and I learned this lesson fast. It didn't detour me in wanting them to be dressed in the BEST. I shopped on line, auction sites, consignment shops, and yard sales to find "the label". I dressed them in the best clothing, or actually, the best brands. I wanted my children to have what I didn't have. Yep, I was very materialistic.
I carried this attitude into my thirties and it knocked on my forties.
What changed my mind?
I began searching God with all my heart. Not just a heart that desired God, but a heart that was desperate for God. I wanted to know God and really form a true relationship with him. I didn't want a religion, I wanted God.
Soon after, I noticed that I appreciated more, I gave more, I found more compassion. I complained less, controlled less, and trusted God with everything I had. After all, he was the one who had provided. I felt ashamed to think that if God truly provided everything I had, I was craving more.....to please or impress man!
How sad I was to realize that I had basically slapped God in the face! Here, he had provided my essentials and I (lowly me) was judging God, snubbing his gifts because they did not meet the standards of the world. A label had become the wedge between God and myself. I was truly ashamed and repentant.
I examined my life and my heart for other areas that I placed wedges and vowed to never look at another pair of jeans with the same eyes. I appreciate what God has given me, no matter what.
I guess grief can create a new creature with a different vision. You appreciate the things that you once overlooked. You find the pleasure in the simple things and not just the things of the world. I encourage you to examine yourself and search for those little wedges that you may be placing between you and God. Ask him to reveal those things that you have placed above that which he has given to you. Be thankful in everything.....everything!
I carried this attitude into my thirties and it knocked on my forties.
What changed my mind?
I began searching God with all my heart. Not just a heart that desired God, but a heart that was desperate for God. I wanted to know God and really form a true relationship with him. I didn't want a religion, I wanted God.
Soon after, I noticed that I appreciated more, I gave more, I found more compassion. I complained less, controlled less, and trusted God with everything I had. After all, he was the one who had provided. I felt ashamed to think that if God truly provided everything I had, I was craving more.....to please or impress man!
How sad I was to realize that I had basically slapped God in the face! Here, he had provided my essentials and I (lowly me) was judging God, snubbing his gifts because they did not meet the standards of the world. A label had become the wedge between God and myself. I was truly ashamed and repentant.
I examined my life and my heart for other areas that I placed wedges and vowed to never look at another pair of jeans with the same eyes. I appreciate what God has given me, no matter what.
I guess grief can create a new creature with a different vision. You appreciate the things that you once overlooked. You find the pleasure in the simple things and not just the things of the world. I encourage you to examine yourself and search for those little wedges that you may be placing between you and God. Ask him to reveal those things that you have placed above that which he has given to you. Be thankful in everything.....everything!